Myth about Friendships

Source: www.tejadohanchell.com

Came across an article recently that made quite an amusing read. Looking at why men and women cannot be friends, the researchers found that there were distinct differences in terms of how men and women view opposite-sex friendships. Referring to the article:

"[The research results showed that] Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.

These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.”....[there] is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways. Men seem to see myriad opportunities for romance in their supposedly platonic opposite-sex friendships. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic."

While in my younger (some might say naive) days, I did hold on to this "guys and girls can be friends" worldview, my life experiences have shown me otherwise. It really is tough being just friends unless both parties have made it explicitly clear where they stand in this friendship. Even then, I think it's hard for the more romantically hopeful one to be able to draw such a clear line especially if the quantity of time spent together remains significant.

With regards to men being delusional, I think this is a fair point. For example, Ed's recollection of when I responded positively to his various attempts is way off tangent. When it comes to when we started dating intentionally, he also claims that we started much earlier. I like to think I'm the half with the better memory.

In any case, when I gleefully showed Ed this article, he blithely responded that "men were just venture capitalists who see the potential in these relationships".

Talk about denial. *tsktsk*