Wedding Excuses

This came to mind when a colleague was inviting us for her upcoming wedding dinner and one of the invitees suggested a possible absence as he had a soccer match. In case you were wondering, it's not even competitive! *an exchange of shocked looks ensued*

As we probed further, we realised that horrors of horrors, his match would end by early afternoon!! He just wanted time to 'recover' from the game. *another round of appalled gasps from the all-girl circle*

Although he did capitulate after we launched into an agitated tirade (with many Star Awards worthy moments can I add) about his feeble excuse, the bride remarked that she wasn't too sure whether to be glad that he was at least truthful or to remain appalled that a soccer match was more important than her.

Oh well...scolding aside, his stark but honest to goodness confession did get me thinking about the other incredible excuses that people could use when they issue declining RSVPs.

And guess what...I actually found a whole website dedicated to this art of rejection. *amazed look*

Context: 2 writers decided to draft a fictitious wedding invite for people to send in their regretful apologies.

Wedding invitation:

Mr. and Mrs. Theo Simmonds and Mr. and Mrs. Hielke Kamps request the honour of your presence at the wedding of their children, Kate and Haje Jan, February the 6th, 2010.

The ceremony will be held in the ballroom of the Plaza Hotel, Fifth Avenue at Central Park South, New York, NY. Reception to follow at Mama Chan’s Hong Kong Bistro, 578 Fourth Avenue, Brooklyn NY.

R.s.v.p.
___ Attending.
___ Not attending.

Please decline this invitation asap, but at the latest by January 12, 2007. Thank you.

Some reasons that were submitted:

"I'm sorry. I didn’t even know you had my new address, and I certainly didn’t know you actually wanted it; if I had, it would have been yours years ago."

"Dearest Haje and Kate, I cannot watch your wedding. I’m writing Haiku."

"Sincere thanks from England for your invitation....am afraid however that my self-imposed carbon budget for this year simply does not permit me to take long-haul flights, and will thus take the option of watching your ceremony via live webstream instead."

"My dearest Haje and Kate, I am afraid I will not be able to attend your wedding. Unfortunately, Mama Chan four years ago gravely insulted the leader of my clan. If I were to attend, I would be bound by honor to dispatch her and her family, while destroying the establishment."

"Dear Friends of my Esteemed Family, I lugubriously regret to inform you that my glorious family line may not be present (that is to say, in a material sense) at your nuptials. So sad, so sad. - Lord Eggsby Heauwaux"

*grins*