"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
- 1 John 3:18 ( New International Version)
In the early days of our relationship, I was more considerate of Ed's feelings and definitely made a greater effort to do things for him as well as take into account his preferences. However, time has a way of making us take things for granted and gradually, convenience became more important than delighting.
Moreover, men and women are created so differently that even communication styles differ. As the book accurately pointed out:
Men, for example, tend to think in headlines and say exactly what they mean. Not much is needed to understand the message. His words are more literal and shouldn't be over-analyzed. But women think and speak between the lines. They tend to hint. A man often has to listen for what is implied if he wants to get the full meaning.
[As a result], a husband should listen to his wife and learn to be conisderate of her unspoken messages. A wife should learn to communicate truthfully and not say one thing while meaning another.
Recalling the Valentine's Day incident, can just imagine Ed nodding away at the part about wives not being able to say what they mean. I am also slowly learning to be more explicit in my expectations as sometimes, the men really don't get it.
Moreover, I was challenged to think about how:
The thoughtful nature of love teaches [me] to engage [my] mind before engaging [my] lips. Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.
As loving thoughts precede loving actions, there is a need to be more intentional in thinking about how I can better serve Ed as well as consider his needs.
To put this into practise and in view that it would be a busy weekend for Ed, decided to cheerfully take care of the household chores without grumbling about lazy husbands (under my breath). I also had an opportunity to tap on my planning-acquired* powerpoint skills and help Ed in beautifying a presentation he needed to make at church. *beams in an accomplished manner*
In fact, something interesting came out of this 'helpful day'. I realised I actually felt happy knowing that I was able to help Ed in little ways. Guess this is what they mean by sometimes we 'benefit' more as the giver rather than the recipient?
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