Granted, a quarrelsome wife is not pleasant to be around. As I pondered over how quarrelsome or rude I could be, this is the book's take:
Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. In marriage, this could be a foul mouth, poor table manners, or a habit of making sarcastic quips.
Genuine love minds its manners....When you allow love to change your behaviour - even the smallest of ways - you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship.
We have a tendency to practise a different etiquette at home versus when we are with friends or total strangers. [We] may be barking or pouting around the house, but if the front door chimes, [we] open it all smiling and kind.
Reading this, was uncomfortably reminded of all those times when my impatience got the better of me and I started to get snappy. Upon further reflection, realised my rudeness arose due to a disregard of Ed's feelings or when I thought I knew better and got dismissive. It is an effort to remember to be tactful even as I seek to make a point.
When it comes to practising the right etiquette in my marriage, was also challenged to be mindful of the following principles:
- Guard the golden rule. Treat my mate the same way I want to be treated.
- No double standards. Be as considerate to my spouse as I am to strangers and coworkers.
- Honor requests. Consider what my husband already asked me to do or not do. If in doubt, than ask.
I am realizing that it's NOT about imposing my expectations on Ed and neither should I sulk when I don't get my way. In addition, I am also learning to be more patient and other-centred.
Although I still have alot more room for improvement, who ever said this love dare was supposed to be easy?
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